We all know what it’s like.
It happens to the best of us every January without fail. We feel enthusiastic and hyped up about all the transformations and improvements we promise ourselves will definitely happen this year.
I just want to keep my promises to ME
Some of us might even hold off on starting goals we could have kicked off in December because we like to make waiting until after the holidays our excuse. Ha ha !!
Yes, boo - right after Thanksgiving. I'm giving the cheesecake up. Oh, wait, did I say Thanksgiving? I meant to say Christmas!
So, in this mindset the motivation buzz begins to die down and fade out easily as early as mid-February- because to be honest, we didn't want to make those changes as much as we claimed to in the first place.
We start off in a state of spiritual resistance. There's one foot in the GOAL field and one foot still hanging out there with those old habits. It should be no surprise that by Spring not a thing has changed.
Therefore, as fast as you started making changes, you're back to your old habits; or relapsing with that no good lover, homey, frenemie. Yes, the one you said you were leaving this year for certain.
You've probably had a few conversations with friends about joining the gym or hiring the personal trainer you met on Instagram. You committed to the help you need to develop that 6-pack before summer hits, but you missed a session..... then another..... then?
What happened? Did you start then stop.... ?
or maybe you started and couldn't keep up with all the time it takes.
Conflicts within your regular schedule?
Well, there's nothing wrong with you.
Change is just hard. PeriodT.
Besides, on January 1, MOST of us feel the excitement of a new year and the opportunity it claims to offer. We start the year with a mental list of things we’d like to accomplish, whether it’s to shed a few pounds, journal daily, or learn another language.
Some of us write our goals down as early as December of the previous year because everyone's doing it and it seems like a great idea.
But before the end of month one, we’re reduced to a puddle of stress and anxiety.
While the idea of a New Year resolution list is exciting, most of us become overwhelmed and too busy to stick with it long enough to tick them off our lists.
But this year, I want to help you stop lying to yourself. Things can change. Below are a few jewels & practices you can learn to master. They will help you maintain interest so you can continue pursuing your goals past the first few weeks.
You don't want to keep disappointing yourself because self-denial is bad on your esteem & it's a confidence killer. There are enough disappointments happening in life for reasons outside of your control.
When someone disappoints you you have yourself to run to for comfort, but who do you run to when it's you lying to yourself? Exactly. It's destructive.
Therefore, we must do all we can to fulfill the promises we make on our own behalf - New Year or not.
Let's go over some of the things we can do to keep it 100% with ourselves so we can keep our promises. We're all we got!
One of the most obvious conscious decisions we must make to successfully change anything in our lives is exercising willingness.
Pick resolutions that you're passionate about so you can will yourself into compliance.
You need to be willing to put the work in if you want to complete your resolutions.Without willingness, sustainable improvement is impossible.
STOP WAITING FOR THE NEW YEAR!!
Decide to treat the New Year as a special but ordinary day, because that's all it is - one more day forward. It's way too much pressure to expect so much out of one day.
For most of us, these expectations are unreasonable. We set ourselves up for disappointment and failure when we rely on one day to bring the magic of transformation.
Go easy. Time is an illusion. Leave it out when you really want to effect change. The clock and the calendar are distracting and they're man made for more practical reasons - like, I have to be to work by 9 a.m.
Try not to use it so strictly in the resolution process if you want to avoid stress and that sunken feeling of failure when you don't make it by a certain date.
KNOW EXACTLY WHY YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH IT!!
Each goal must be clearly defined.
Like, you really must know why you want to accomplish a certain thing.
Vain or shallow goals are hard to stick to because there's no real basis for your participation. For example, if you want to lose weight, list twenty or more benefits that losing weight will give you.
The outcome you're after can't be as simple as looking better or fitting an old pair of your favorite jeans. Everyone wants to fit something better!
These kind of outcomes are not serious enough to keep you interested and they die off quick. Take pen to paper and sit down and really go through the detailed benefits of each goal.
As you write them out they are reinforced in your mind.
You will develop mental relationships with the significance of each goal. "Losing weight will reduce destructive bone impact on my knees, lower my blood pressure, save my teeth, preserve my heart, improve digestion and clear up my skin."
I mean you have to get serious about each outcome so you can have strong reasons to stay committed to each goal until completed.
Carry those reasons in your wallet or phone. They are really influential, especially during moments when you're thinking of breaking a promise to yourself.
CREATE A DAMN VISION BOARD!!
Let this task be the start of something long lasting so you can stop putting superficial New Year Resolution pressure into the mix.
A vision board will bring all of your dreams and goals out into the open over a well thought out, engaging, and creative personal planning process.
Here, you can see your life exactly how you want it to play out.
There's not much that can inspire you more than seeing your plans all mapped out. The best thing about this popular activity is the final product is ongoing.
Your vision board is with you for the long haul. Sure you'll tweak it and make changes along the way, but at least you're not killing yourself on day one of every new year.
Get started on your vision board right away!
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BREAK YOUR RESOLUTIONS UP INTO LISTS!!
Some of us dream big and that’s great! I recommend dreaming way past what you think is possible. There's no other way!
But when it comes to New Year resolutions, unrealistic expectations could be why so many of us are unable to complete the goals we're after. Then we quit and lose hope.
"The big list, the medium list, & the daily list."
Learn more about list making by reading No More BrokeAssNess or in the You Can't Hurt Me No More!! Self-Love Kit for Empaths Who Love Too Hard.
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When making your list, you can (and should!) push yourself, but make sure you develop resolutions that can be easily accomplished, everything can't be difficult. That's how we get discouraged and give up.
Big ridiculous long-term goals with no smaller goals written out is why people fail and give up. They don't realize that doing this sets them up for failure because goal making doesn't work that fast.
There's a smaller planning process we need to hash out alongside our big goals.
That's one of the main reasons the vision board coupled with the list making skill is so important for completing dream goals.
The list making process helps us separate and divide our goals into various types of chunks over time. Some of your goals will be small and doable.
Keeping a list of small goals that can be easily accomplished will keep you inspired, feeling able, and moving forward.
STICK WITH EVERYTHING FOR A MINIMUM OF 45 DAYS!!
One thing at a time, too!
When you’re facing an item on your resolutions list, you need to muster up your willingness and make a commitment to try whatever it is;
Exercising every day....
Searching for a new job....
Or, learning a new language for 20 minutes per day for at least 45 consecutive days.
And you need to do one thing at a time. Do not try to eat healthy, go to the gym, and learn a new language all at once.
I'm not saying this is not possible, but most people overdo it and fail. Try the healthy breakfast for 6 weeks. If it works out, add the treadmill for 6 weeks, and so on.
Just slow down so your brain can adjust. It does not like new things, nor does it care if you think YOU do. Ha!
They say it takes 21 days to build a habit so if you stick with any one of your resolutions for 45 days (which is more than double 21), the daily maintenance will begin to feel routine and normal for you.
It will also improve your chances of converting your actions into new habits that run on automatic from your brains' perspective.
Once your subconscious mind agrees that it has a new habit, you're on to something. Success is near!
Let’s make this year different. Instead of being like everyone else you know - come February, sharing stories of failed resolutions, be the one who shares stories of success.
When you learn the practices and skills it takes to keep your New Years resolutions, you’ll feel a strong sense of personal potential and accomplishment like every one of us deserves.
Share this article with the people you love and the people you just want to see do better this year - because you know we all want to!
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