Michelle Carvalho | A Dream LYFE | No More Enabling Narcs
remembering the narcissist

NARCISSISTS: No More Enabling and Creating Them.

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If we stop enabling narcissists, we can reduce our collective tendency to create more people with the disorder.


The more I learn about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the more I realize how our society churns them out in massive numbers. 


We're also guilty of enabling their hurtful, damaging, and dysfunctional behaviors. 


But maybe it's because not enough of us are aware of the disorder, or the part we play in enabling it. 


It's definitely complicated.


 As a family member of several highly manipulative, uncaring, self-absorbed narcissists, I know we can do things unknowingly that create and enable them, because I've witnessed it .


Long before I realized I took on the "over-compensating, people pleasing" behaviors of my grandmother who raised me, narcissists were being created in my immediate family.

Like the women before me, I went above and beyond to care for my young children. I tried to over-compensate for absent, irresponsible fathers.

Their absence supported a belief that made me think I needed to give them everything I didn't have. Years late the opposite of what I thought would happen - happened.

They grew up exhibiting relentless ungrateful & entitled behaviors, compounded with a clear inability to empathize with the sacrifices that were made on their behalf.

 

And how could they empathize, rarely required to earn anything or develop value for others based on balanced systems of give and take?

Doing too much for anyone is a sure way to enable selfishness, insecurity, and many more less than ideal narcissistic characteristics. I became an enabler.

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My grandmother was the first enabler I was able to identify in my life. Her son, who is my father, was a violent abuser. She put up with his abusive and controlling behavior until the day she passed away.


I'm not sure she understood her role in supporting his abusive behavior. Paired Life published a blog post that defines the kind of enabler she was to her son. You can read the full article on their website.


In essence, when empaths behave like toxic co-dependents, we cripple the people we love. Inadvertently, we may cause damage to their sense of self. By default, we obstruct any chance for them to develop a secure sense of self direction and self control.


Caring too much is dysfunctional because we're sending the wrong messages when we over extend ourselves. It's not a good thing like so many of us want to believe.


We're basically saying, "I don't trust you to take care of yourself. Nor do I trust me, so I over deliver."


Enabling is  co-dependency at it's core. It says more about us empaths when we are toxic, than it does about the narcissist.


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I understand. It takes courage to release people & let them take care of themselves, but it's our responsibility to do so. This is no excuse.

In this week's episode I discuss a few ways we enable narcissistic behaviors. Moving forward, and as we elevate into a higher sense of consciousness and awareness, let's take better care not to create spiritual takers.


When we do, we send them out into the world where they do nothing more than hurt, deceive & manipulate others. 

Find out how you can learn the tech skills you need to develop your own story or launch your creative ideas onlineRestore self-love after exposure to mean, hurtful, manipulative narcissistic people here.


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